What does it mean to be productive?

After working just 3 years in the corporate world, I decided to take an unpaid sabbatical. I quit my job without knowing what I wanted to do next. Having spent the majority of the past two years working remotely and traveling within the Americas, I was already familiar with the nomadic lifestyle. But this time, I sought the ‘true backpacker’ experience.

I traveled south of the United States during my digital nomad days because of the cooperative time zone, but with my newfound lifestyle, I decided to head east to Asia. First stop: India.

In India, I had a plan for myself. I enrolled in a 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training intensive course for one month. It was easy to justify buying a one-way ticket and having no plan beyond that. I had one month to figure things out, meet people with similar travel plans, and get word-of-mouth recommendations.

Being enrolled in a course made me feel “productive.” The money I was spending was an investment in myself and a way to gain knowledge. When this course ended, I became just another bum backpacker with no purpose and no income.

I quickly realized that unproductivity was a myth. Each day, as I engaged with strangers, asked new questions, and explored my mission in life, I was continuously investing in my personal growth. As my friend Diana said, “There is no price on what it takes to refine your character.”

My mind was open and ready to move from India to Nepal and get on the trail. I can assure you that I did not think about my previous job even once while out in nature. And guess what? The company survived without my hard work and dedication. In fact, I don’t think they even missed a beat.

We are all dispensable when we work for others, especially at larger organizations. When I quit my job, this epiphany caused great sadness because of how much I cared about my performance and the success of my team. However, now I see dispensability as freedom. We do not need to be beholden or loyal to any company. We just need to contribute to a positive company culture, work with integrity, seek and promote learning, and uncover our unique purposes.

My time in Nepal was the first time I had no true “goal” or “purpose” in years. I soaked up every moment.

The bus ride

From Hotel Yog where we stayed in Kathmandu, our group of four had no idea what was in store for us. Instead of a private jeep ride, we opted for the more economical option of public bus.

This was no ordinary public bus. The wheels alone reached up to my elbows, and the bus itself looked like something straight out of a child’s crayon drawing—bright, chaotic, and slightly absurd. After leaving the hostel at 6:00 am and finding the bus at 6:30 am, we departed at 7:00 am. The bus, packed with hikers and locals, finally set off.

For every hour of the 8-hour ride, we stopped for water, snacks, and toilets. At lunch, we devoured a large helping of traditional dal bhat. I had this every day in Nepal for a month, and I never grew tired of it. Dal is the stew or soup cooked with spices like turmeric, cumin, and coriander, and bhat is the steamed rice which serves as the base of the meal. It is typical for all restaurants to give you unlimited food until you’re satisfied (although we discovered they may be irritated after three rounds).

As we inched closer to Soti Khola, my brain increasingly understood the dangers of this ride. I fought anxious thoughts as we drove on mountainside cliffs for almost the entire 8 hours. And this was no paved road with guard rails. We wound our way through construction zones and skirted dangerously close to moving boulders. I had to remind myself that the bus driver had as much skin in the game as I did and enough incentive to be careful.

The heat also helped drown out anxious thoughts. The bus acted like a sauna, with the sun beating down on us all day without air conditioning. You were lucky if you scored a window seat. There was no fighting the constant sweat. However, if you’re like me, heat makes you sleepy, and the most bumpy ride in the world won’t prevent you from napping to pass the hours and ignore the fear.

If you find yourself in the same situation, just remember, the only thing you have to do is sit through it.

For the last hour, more and more locals joined. Some carried heavy baskets of mysterious goods, and others carried nothing. Both scenarios were perplexing. A group of about 10 of us gave up our seats for the elderly women who joined, so now we were hanging on to the overhead rails for dear life as the bus swayed back and forth on the cliff’s edge. Standing up, I had an even better view of the drop-off.

When we arrived in Soti Khola, I learned we hadn’t seen anything dangerous yet. That was the road fit for a public bus. Now, to traverse the rugged terrain, we needed a Jeep or Land Rover.

Many people start the Manaslu Trek here in Soti Khola, but many people also do this trek in 12-15 days. Our group had planned to do it in 8 days, so we decided to cut out the first part, which is mainly road walking, not trail walking (according to what I’d heard).

A 2-hour Jeep ride took us to Machhakhola. I never even saw the driver. He just pulled up, loaded us in the back, and drove on. I thought, “I hope he knows what he’s doing!”

If I thought it was crowded on the bus, we were now packed in like sardines! One Nepalese man was holding on to the outside of the vehicle because there was no space. When it poured rain, there was nothing we could do but drive on.

First sleep on the trail

We arrived in Machhakhola and got some basic rooms in the Mount Everest Hotel. Although we had been sedentary, the day's mental exhaustion made the cold shower and simple meal feel like luxuries.

As I lay awake at night, I second-guessed every piece of gear. I tend to fixate on the small things when I feel nervous. I did the same thing before my 3-week hike in California 3 years prior. Next time I do a thru-hike, I want to remember that “less is more” and that to be light and free is much more valuable than having that extra piece of gear. Instead of lamenting how I brought too much, I could have given myself the time to reflect on how excited and proud I was to be there. The morning would bring adventure!

First steps

Growing up means realizing that you can do whatever you want to do. I jokingly said, “So, who is going to chaperone our group?” I was part of a group of 5 people, all in our 20’s. I was so happy to be part of a young crowd awaiting the peaks and valleys of this trek. I felt a bit out of my depth and slightly outlandish, but more than anything, I felt empowered.

Nino (22 from France), Théo (24 from France), Miloš (27 from Slovakia), myself (25 from the USA), and our guide Sanjeev (26 from Nepal) took our first steps toward Philim.

The beginning of the trek started low in elevation. The whole day was never grueling at any point, but it was long. We completed 10 miles by 11:00 am when we stopped for lunch.

The walk follows the Budhi Gandaki River with its glacial blue water. With water at every turn, we witnessed countless waterfalls and crossed at least 7 swing bridges on the first day.

The first day was 18.25 miles (29.4 km) with 4,500 ft elevation gain (1,372 m) and 2,000 ft elevation loss (610 m), taking 7:50 hours of moving time. I was impressed with our 25 minutes per mile pace (15.5 minutes per km).

Most people stop in Sugot, but we continued further to Philim and slept at the beautiful Philim Lodge.

Here, being inspired by the sporting of the village’s ongoing volleyball game, I started doing stretches and handstands, and to my surprise, some young children joined in, mimicking my movements. Despite the language barrier, we communicated through play. It’s normally difficult to seize the full attention of children, but I felt like I a had some magic telepathic power when they did as I demonstrated.

Our food that night was accompanied by beer and the card game Capitalism. I fell asleep shortly after. I could only think to myself how grateful I was to be on the trail. To breathe fresh air. To move my body. To eat good food with good people. To be free from the constant internal debate over whether I was 'productive' or 'accomplished' that day. To seize this opportunity!