Coming from a growing city in the United States, I’ve witnessed an increase in the construction of housing developments. In Phoenix, Arizona, it is common to see “luxury” apartments, condos, townhomes, or residential neighborhoods pop up out of nowhere on the outskirts of city lines, stretching the Phoenix boundary further every day.

Many look and feel the same. These homes are very generic, include stucco or a similar material that might withstand the blasting heat for a couple of years, and have rock-centered landscaping. I think it is great that developers are providing homes for reasonable prices where demand is rapidly growing, but I also wonder, is this the best solution?

I’ve moved over 12 times in the past 10 years (if you count the chaos of university housing) and traveled for over 2 years in total, changing accommodation usually every few weeks or once per month. I don’t want to admit how many hours have occupied my mind on the ceaseless internal debate on deciding the best place to live.

For this week’s publication, I want to focus on what happens after you’ve chosen your city or town. The real question becomes where exactly you should live in that area, and why proximity plays a crucial role.

It is for normies and travelers alike. Whether you're rooted in routine or constantly on the move, where you choose to live or stay can deeply shape your experience.

Within a 5 minute walk

Everyone wants to be close to everything, but this is not feasible in the real world. You cannot be close to your work, friends, family, parties, nature, etc. at the same time. So what’s important?

I think it comes down to 2 things:

1. What makes you feel free?

2. What can help you achieve one of your goals/priorities?

If you can harness something important within a 5 minute walk to where you live, you could change your life. Proximity inevitably enables freedom. Not only does proximity decrease your commute time, but it also mentally makes any decision easier.

I recently read James Clear’s book Atomic Habits. He says that if you want to make something prominent in your life, you need to design your surroundings to make it easy. You can check out the summary of his ideas here. He’s absolutely correct.

One of my uncle’s most important criteria in finding a house in San Francisco was simple: “I want to be able to walk to a coffee shop.”

He is not a coffee connoisseur, nor an obnoxious blog-writing digital nomad (like some of the readers here wink wink), plus, he is very capable of making his own coffee at home, so why did this matter? Because he knew the occasional walk to the local shop allowed him to get fresh air, become a regular in this new community, and be social with the neighbors.

His proximity to the coffee shop wasn’t just about convenience. It was about understanding how the small decisions like walking to the shop compound over time to impact his well-being and community engagement.

A runner will choose to be in walking distance to a track, a mother will choose to be in walking distance of a walking path, a person with a passion for fashion will choose to live in the most hipster neighborhood, a young professional will live close to a metro station, a surfer will choose to live close to the ocean.

How we live our days is how we live our lives. If you allow yourself to feel free and make it easier to achieve your goals, each day can be better.

Lonely neighborhoods

What I don’t find freeing are the so-called “communities” I described in the first paragraph. They provide quality housing, but consequentially make people feel isolated and lonely. Especially when developed next to unideal locations like heavily trafficked roads and highways or car-centric strip malls, I believe they trap people into a car-centric life.

Many times, you can see this easily with aerial views. A simple Google Maps view can make all the difference. Is your future neighborhood trapping you in? Is your future accommodation not allowing you to get everything you want out of an adventure?

I believe my opinions will not be true for everyone. For example, someone who priorities safety might look to live in a gated neighborhood. Safety enables freedom. On the other hand, a gated neighborhood might feel constraining to others. Knowing yourself, but also challenging yourself, is the hard part here.

In my experience

For me, I have found some surprising success in vastly different places.

At the Queensland University of Technology where I studied abroad for one semester, I was disappointed to be pushed outside of the city center by my student budget. I ended up sharing a small bungalow in the Highgate Hill neighborhood in the suburbs of Brisbane. Not my first idea of an adventure-filled life abroad.

I learned a lot. Not only did becoming great friends with my roommates make the experience magical, but also learning what proximity meant. The bus stop across the street (straight up a giant hill, but nonetheless across the street) enabled access to anywhere in the city and a viewpoint around the corner was a secret-haven into enjoying the skyline from afar for sunset. I was able to access the city when I wanted, but also breathe fresh air everyday. This made me feel free.

On the other hand, where I felt most isolated was in the heart of Tempe, Arizona in one of my previous apartments. There were plenty of restaurants, bars, parks, and more, but everything was accessible only by car. There was very little interaction with people without planned events. When I made a small change to move to a different apartment complex along Tempe Town Lake, suddenly it felt like a different town altogether. Just adding a running path into proximity of my apartment changed my entire daily routine and effectively, mindset.

Conclusion

Proximity fuels your habits and shapes your days. It can give you the freedom to live life how you want. Ultimately, choosing proximity isn’t just about convenience—it’s about crafting a life that aligns with your values, your goals, and your sense of freedom.